Backwards
by teaandcharcoalforbreakfast
Summary: "Tony only has one regret in life, and that is that his only 'normal' relationship started backwards." M for sex. Stony.


**A/n: **First foray into Stony here. I really love the pairing, but I haven't been able to get going on a fic… until now.

Betad by Ritsuke_Neko on LJ

* * *

Tony only has one regret in life, and that is that his only 'normal' relationship started backwards. He had a few supposed girlfriends when he was younger, but that was mostly a date or two and a quick fuck before he realized they were just interested in money or fame and ended it. Pepper was almost normal, except they didn't actually date. They'd basically lived together for years while she was his PA before they actually got together, so they didn't feel the need to go out for dinner and didn't like the way the possible headlines would sound anyhow. So instead, there was closeness as they planned joint project, furtive kisses and occasional uncommented upon handholding during the day that would just as often at the end of the day turn into snuggling quietly on the sofa as sex.

Really, their breakup was one of the reasons he ended up with Steve. It was horrible for Tony. After the Avengers became a thing and the number of super villains in the area went up, Pepper just couldn't handle the way Tony was constantly risking his life. She was good about it, honest, and Tony could always remember the sincere, sad look on her face when she told him, "I'm sorry, but I just can't spend another night laying in your bed and wondering if you're ever going to be able to come and lie next to me again."

After that, Tony started drinking again. He'd actually cut back after he became Iron Man (the whole palladium poisoning part notwithstanding) since it was way easier to fight when not falling over drunk, but fighting was his problem anyway. It was Steve that rescued him eventually. After a week of moping in the lab, the team apparently decided he needed rescuing.

At the time, Tony was laying face down on the floor. He'd been there so long that the smooth floor was warm on his skin. You and Butterfingers were in their charging stations, beeping nervously to each other like they always did when he was drunk. Dummy wheels whirred as he went to get another glass of water to try to force into Tony's hands before he would just sit next to him for a while and poke him now and then to make sure he was still alive. Tony knew that he should feel bad for making his babies worry about him, but he couldn't bring himself to care. Besides, trying to be good was what got him into that mess.

Then the door opened.

"Jarvis," Tony slurred, "Why'd you let someone in? 'M trying to drown myself in booze."

"That sounds like a good reason to let someone in to me." Steve said.

"Go away," Tony said, lifting his head to glare up at him, "Las' thing I need right now is Mr. Perfect."

"Hey, that's Captain Perfect to you." Great, perfect time for Capsicle to develop a sense of humor. "And the last thing you need is actually to stay down here. Come on, let's get you upstairs so you can sleep this off."

"I'm not moving."

"Tony, don't make me do this the hard way."

Tony stuck his tongue out and Steve rolled his eyes.

"Okay, fine." And with that he lifted Tony and threw him over his shoulder.

"Hey!" He started struggling. "What do you think you're doing?"

"Taking you upstairs to bed. Maybe a shower first, though, you stink."

Tony slumped down on Steve's shoulder, defeated.

"Hey, buddy, you're gonna be okay."

"No, Steve, my life is over."

"Tony-"

"Overrr!"

Steve actually laughed, "No it isn't, but when you wake up tomorrow you'll probably wish it was."

Tony whined, "If you let me go back downstairs I can get more drunk and then I won't have a hangover tomorrow 'cause I'll still be drunk."

"No, but you'll have a worse one the day after."

Tony began muttering angrily into Steve's chest and didn't stop until Steve dumped him unceremoniously in his tub and began to tug at his clothes.

"Hey, you should at least buy me dinner first."

Steve laughed again. Tony decided he liked that laugh when it wasn't directed at him. It was all deep and from his gut. Tony wanted to help, but he found he couldn't stand. Still, somehow Steve got his pants and underwear off. Tony wasn't really paying attention to that part. Honestly, he wasn't paying attention until Steve turned the shower on and he was smacked in the face with lukewarm water. Steve knelt beside the tub and began scrubbing Tony's arm - hey, where had he gotten soap? - and hummed to himself. Tony thought he might have recognized the tune from a long time ago, but he wasn't sure. It was comforting, actually, to be with another person again, having them take care of him. He felt himself start to cry. Thankfully, Steve didn't comment on it. He just kept washing Tony, not seeming to care that he was getting wet too (although he'd taken off his shirt at some point. You'd think Tony would have at least noticed that.) The quiet was kind of nice, but Tony didn't like quiet very much when he was with someone. Then they could be thinking things about him.

"I miss Pepper," He said as Steve began to work shampoo through his hair.

"I'm sure you do," He said softly, sincerely for once. "The two of you were really close."

"It's just, after Obi died, she was my only family. 'Sides the one I made. And now I've been fucking my poor babies over. I hate getting drunk around them."

"Then don't. You've got us now, you know. You can come to breakfast tomorrow and see Clint and Thor fighting over the Poptarts while Natasha and Bruce talk about some book or movie I've never seen and I'll be sitting there with my corn flakes wondering how the hell I got here and then you'll remember that you've still got us."

"But Pep- It still hurts."

"I know. But it gets better. You're not the first of my men to lose his girl in the line of duty and you probably won't be the last." He sighed. "Dames are more trouble than they're worth."

"I hear that."

Steve's hands fell. "Alright, you smell a little less like you're dead, so let's get you into bed."

He stood and toweled off his upper half before helping Tony to his feet and sort of drying him. Between the two of them, they somehow managed to get Tony toweled off, in pajamas, and in bed without injury. Steve slid under the covers next to him, although he still kept a respectful distance. He said he didn't want Tony to choke on his own vomit in his sleep, and even though Tony insisted that he wasn't that drunk, Steve ignored him. Tony didn't but up much of a fight after that, though. Steve was someone else in bed there with him, and even though he wasn't anything like Pep, he was still there, warm and reassuring and making Tony feel like his bed wasn't far too big.

He didn't bother to mention that Jarvis was fully capable of making sure he made it through the night.

When Tony woke up the next morning with a pounding headache, Steve was still there. There was a moment of pure terror when Tony was afraid that he had fucked Captain America and couldn't even remember it until he realized that he did remember last night and in some ways what Steve had done felt closer, even more intimate. Steve smiled at him, apparently happy to see that he wasn't hurting too badly, though, so Tony shook it off.

That was the first time Tony and Steve spent the night together and woke up side by side.

-0-0-0-

Tony told himself that Steve had just been acting as a good friend, but that didn't stop him from asking for more after their next bad mission. Tony's suit had been crushed and he'd been buried under piles of rubble. No one could get to him until after they chased off the green slime from hell and for a good thirty minutes, Tony had been stuck there, sure he would be dying alone in the crushed tin can he had thought would protect him. Eventually, though, he was rescued. The entire team dug for him, even Clint and Natasha who didn't have any sort of extra strength to help them. It took about two minutes to actually reach him and all of three seconds for Steve to tear his suit away and find out that other than some nasty bruises he was alright. On the way back to the tower Steve collapsed. Apparently, he'd been hit in the head pretty badly. He just didn't pay attention to that until after the adrenaline wore off.

Fury probably would have wanted them both to go to medical, but after that stunt they pulled when he first woke up Steve had a crippling fear of waking up in hospital rooms and Tony just hated the place. Instead, they all went up to the living room. Clint pulled out the couch for Steve and Thor, who had carried him, set him on one side of it while Bruce slid in the other side, too tired after hulking out to be picky. The others all stayed too. Thor, Clint, and Natasha sat together on the other couch while Tony took the softer of the two armchairs.

None of them wanted to talk, but it was too quiet for Tony. He suggested a Disney movie marathon. Something light and happy was always good after those sort of missions, after all. Steve woke up half way through Aladdin and complained that he hadn't seen this one and so didn't know what was going on. Bruce woke up for a moment during Mary Poppins said, "Oh, I like this one," And then went back to sleep.

Somehow it didn't feel right, like it was too quiet and too normal. Tony usually felt like that after near-death experiences, like they had somehow become death experiences and he just hadn't noticed. Normally he went to Pepper after those times. He had her use her wit and body to convince him that she was real, that he was still perfectly alive. But now she was gone. Now he was stuck not knowing.

Eventually the others trickled out one by one and made their way to their beds. Even Bruce eventually got up to shower and go to his own room. Then it was just Steve and Tony. They had folded up the couch a long time ago and were currently sitting on it together watching as Snow White danced with the dwarves.

"You're thinking the same thing I am." Tony said finally.

"What's that?" Steve asked.

"You don't know if you're dead."

"I think I might be dreaming, actually." Steve replied, pulling his knees to his chest, "That I'm in a coma from that rock or something. I think the fold out couches in heaven are more comfortable."

Tony laughed and said, "You could look at a clock. I heard somewhere that clocks are always weird in dreams."

"Yeah…" Steve said softly.

"But that's not enough, is it? I know that's not enough for me."

"It's not."

"Then let me show you," Tony said, setting a hand on Steve's shoulder, "We can do what I do to know I'm alive."

Steve blushed, "Do you mean-"

"Yeah, I do." Tony couldn't bring himself to look away as all the uncertainty on Steve's face turned into a beautiful smile.

"I'd like that." He said quietly.

"Do you want to see the rest of this?"

Steve shook his head, grin widening, "I saw the first run back in '38. It blew me away then, but now I know how it ends."

Tony turned the TV off and the two of them walked silently to Tony's room. Tony wanted to hold him, to kiss him, but he felt it was too much too fast. He knew about what it was really like during the war. He knew about whores, the quick fucks that some of the men would have when they got desperate. Steve had never talked about his experience, but Tony was sure a guy like him had some. Just because he thought dames were too much trouble didn't necessarily mean he didn't get lonely. That was what this was, sex for sex's sake. Somehow, that made Tony's heart feel heavy in a way that shouldn't happen to the king of one night stands.

Still, Steve looked at him sweetly. He ran his big hands all over Tony's body and carefully took Tony's clothes off. It was kind of hot to take it slow, kind of like foreplay. After a while, Tony couldn't stand not doing anything with his mouth. He assumed lips were off-limits, but he sunk his teeth into Steve's shoulder and began to suck. Steve let out a throaty groan and cupped Tony through his boxers. His cock started to stir at the touch. Steve began to rub him lightly and Tony shoved his hand down Steve's briefs, grabbing his cock. Christ, he was uncut. He'd never been with a guy who still had his foreskin, but he knew of some of the possibilities. Maybe if he and Steve did this again…

But it was too early to worry about that. Steve was rocking into his hand, moaning wantonly. He had to get him to bed before he popped.

"You know," Steve said as Tony pulled his hand away to pull his underwear down, "I have a concussion. I probably shouldn't be doing much physical work."

"Yeah, and I'm bruised all over so getting my ass pounded wouldn't be a good idea. So," he ran a finger through Steve's hair, "Why don't you lie back and I'll take good care of you."

Steve blushed but walked over to the bed and laid down, spreading himself across Tony's comforter.

"Yeah, just like that, baby." Tony crawled over him and began to rummage around a drawer in his bedside table for a condom and lube. "Have you done this before?" He asked.

"Couple times," Steve said.

Tony nodded, glad that he wasn't losing his virginity like this. "Like this?"

"Yeah. It was good, but I'd rather not talk about it now."

"Alright." Damn Steve had gotten him curious, but he wouldn't force it. This was supposed to be fun, after all.

Tony had found a condom, but there was no sign of lube. Of course, it had been a long time since there had been the possibility of him taking a man home. "Wait here just a second." He said. He ran to the bathroom and grabbed his jar of Vaseline. "Not exactly ideal, but it'll work. Now come here."

He prepared Steve quickly. He'd had plenty of practice over the years. He never got as many men as he did women, but he still knew what he was doing, which was good because it was hard to think about it consciously when Steve was so hot and tight around his fingers.

He was glad that he was good enough to look Steve over while he was working, because god he was beautiful. Every inch of him was perfectly muscled so that he was hot but not scary. His skin was tight and perfect so that Tony could watch every ripple of movement that Steve made as he adjusted. The gorgeous blue of his eyes was barely visible thanks to the sheer size his pupils had grown to. His bangs were dark with sweat and stuck to his face. His lips were open in a tiny little o, but they were still too pale. Tony wanted nothing more than to ravage those lips, so he tore his eyes away and looked back down Steve's body. He had a bit of a farmer's tan on his arms from taking all of those runs in t-shirts, but even that was more of a pro than a con. Finally, he allowed himself to look down at his prize. Steve's cock was just as godly as the rest of him, looking even more impressive now that it was free and fully erect, the skin retracted to show the dusky purple head. He'd need to have that someday, but for now he had to focus on pleasing Steve instead. His eyes went lower, skimming over his balls to settle on his opening. By that point he had three fingers in Steve and just feeling how tight he was was amazing, but to actually see the way his skin stretched around his fingers… Tony experimentally thrusted in and out a few times experimentally. Steve arched backwards and moaned. Tony's eyes widened and his cock twitched.

"Come on," Steve said, "I need you."

"Somebody's selfish." He brought a finger from his other hand down to circle Steve's stretched entrance. Steve moaned again. "Ask nice."

"Oh please, Tony."

"Please what?"

"Goddammit, Tony, fuck me. Please."

"Making you beg and swear all at once, it must be my lucky day." However, he knew better than to just keep teasing, so he pulled away and went to putting on the condom. He hovered over Steve and carefully guided himself in. Tony momentarily forgot how to breathe. He was fucking Captain America. He was fucking Captain America, and he was hot and tight and absolutely perfect even with the condom in the way. Steve moaned and his hands scrambled over Tony's back looking for purchase. His thighs came up and squeezed Tony's hips, pulling him in even further.

Tony cried out. The conflicting sensations were almost too much to take. He stopped once he bottomed out and looked down at Steve. He was completely lost in lust, more vulnerable and open than he'd ever looked to Tony. He froze for a moment just to stare. Steve was still too and was staring back just as awestruck. Tony felt Steve's heartbeat, strong and steady and eager against his cock. It was too much. Something had to break, and Tony knew lips were probably off limits, but he couldn't bring himself to care. He crashed down upon Steve and forced his tongue into his mouth. Steve groaned and brought his fingers up to Tony's hair. He pushed back. Their kiss was fierce, all tongue and teeth and spit as they ravaged each other's mouths. Steve rolled his hips at some point, spurring Tony into movement.

God, this was better than all of his teenage fantasies. He had Captain America, the real live Captain America, pulling him close, kissing him hard, needing to be fucked within an inch of his life. He almost came within the first couple of strokes, but even though he was still getting older he still had a reputation to maintain.

He grabbed Steve's hips and forced himself to maintain a steady pace. This was about Steve just as much as it was about him. But god, it felt so good. He just wanted to hold Steve down and take and take and take and he wanted Steve to love it. He bit his lip to hold his moans in and shut his eyes tightly. Fuck, why hadn't they done this sooner?!

Eventually, though, he couldn't keep it up. His balls were drawing close and he felt the pressure building. He angled his hips, trying to make sure to brush Steve's prostate consistently and sped up, for the first time laying into Steve with everything he had. Steve's head was thrown back and a constant stream of pleased noises came pouring from his throat. His orgasm must have caught him by surprise. His eyes flew open and he looked at Tony in shock for a split second before he was actually hit and he curled in, shouting Tony's name as he shuddered. Tony felt the warmth of Steve's seed on his belly and felt Steve's body trying to pull him in. He managed three more strokes before he buried himself deep and came as hard as he ever had in his life.

He rolled off and trotted over to the trashcan to throw the condom away. When he turned back to look, Steve was cleaning himself up using a tissue with a contented look on his face.

"You awake now?" Tony asked, grabbing a tissue for himself.

"Yeah. Thanks. You?"

"Yeah."

When they had both gotten most of Steve's come off, Tony turned and threw the tissues towards the trashcan. He missed, but he didn't really care. Steve wrapped his arms around his waist and pulled him close.

"I- I really liked that." Steve said softly. "Can we do this again?"

"I'd like that." Tony said, turning to look over his shoulder.

Steve leaned forward and kissed him again, this time it was closed-lipped and sweet, the kind of kiss that actually meant something.

"I want to do it right, though," Steve said, not quite making eye contact, "Dinner, maybe a movie, lots of kissing, and then-"

Tony laughed, "Oh god, Steve, I haven't been on a date in more than ten years."

Steve blushed, "It was just an idea. I mean, the last one I went on was seventy years ago, and that didn't exactly go well, so-"

"No. I like it. How's Friday sound."

"Friday's perfect."

They smiled at each other and it was so sickeningly sweet that Tony had to look away. However, he still interwove his fingers with Steve's, finally getting back to holding hands.


End file.
